Friday, August 6

I Am the Best Window Shopper EVER

I am a glutton for punishment. I make very little money, but my inner shopper cries for the finer things in life. Since I did a post a little while ago about architectural additions for my home- I decided to write a followup post about accessories!

A few items I can totally see in my future house are:

1. Anything Anthropologie!

I love these plates! They are so cute. When I envision my future house, I have such an eclectic taste. I like the idea of the mismatch/cottage-y kind of look.

These are salt and pepper shakers! So fun!

I want this mirror! Gah all of these things are expensive though haha Luckily, teachers get a 15% discount at Anthropologie. That is reason enough to be a teacher for me!

I love these necklaces!

2. Zappos

I often find myself looking through Zappos for shoes I will never buy. I find myself doing class. Online shopping is dangerous and time consuming!

These are just a few of the things I want eventually. I figure if I put them up here, maybe they will materialize in my closet. Hold on- I'll go check!

Wednesday, July 28

Award??? Suh Weet

This morning began like any other;I awoke at the wee hours of the morning (10am), immediately leaped to get up and get ready (turned on my laptop, while still lounging in pjs) and began to plan out my hectic day (lunch with Megan...), all the norm. When I turned my attention to my friend Lacey's blog (which is hilarious and you should read it immediately), I saw that she had given me an award! This one:

I don't know a ton about internet blog awards, but I am pretty stoked to get one! So I think I am supposed to tell you ten things about myself and then give this award to 5 other people. So here are ten things about me:

1. I once killed a man in Reno just to watch him die.

2. I find that making up lists of things about me to be a difficult task...

3. I have lived in Arizona my whole life.

4. My favorite television show of all time is Friends.

5. I watched Shutter Island last night and was not impressed.

6. I have been in an accident while driving my friend's car, and my sister got in an accident while driving my car. Apparently we are not to be trusted.

7. I drink a lot of milk. It is to this fact that I attribute my lack of broken bones.

8. I am also ridiculously clumsy and upon further reflection, I am frankly astonished I haven't broken any bones. It is possible I am some sort of super hero, but don't know it.

9. I took sign language in high school and college. I live in Arizona. This is quite possibly the most useless language I could have learned.

10. I want to be a teacher.

Now I am supposed to pass on the award! I would totally give this back to Lacey if she didn't already have one...also I don't know how internet awards feel about being re-gifted. I will definitely be passing this on as soon as I can and will post about it when I do. Until then, thanks again Lace Face McGee!

Monday, July 26

When I Get a House and Also Become a Billionaire...

When the two things in the title converge, there will be an explosion of awesome that defies all other things previously considered awesome. My house is going to be a collaboration of creative, excessive and possibly stupendisity. That's right. My home will warrant new adjectives.

A couple of items that will hopefully find their way into that splendiferous being that will be my house are:

1. A bookshelf that leads to a secret room. I don't really care what kind of room; bedroom, study, llama holding facility... All I want is a bookshelf that leads there.

2. An aquarium where you wouldn't typically find one. Hopefully with something awesome inside- like a squid or a mermaid. I never did too well with fish... I would also need someone on staff that would clean out the tank... This picture concerns me now, cause what if the fish dies and you are like, man I really want to wash my hands, but the sink has dead fish stank emanating from it. Hmmmm... Okay, so maybe no fishtank sink. The point still stands though... it looks sweet.

3. I love to swim. I have always wanted one of those horizon pools that looks as if it continues forever. I also would like one of those pools with the super powerful jets so that when you swim, you can 'pretend' you are swimming laps, even though you don't really go anywhere. This pool would be even cooler if the bottom was glass too, so you could see all the way down.

4. A loft. I have always wanted a loft. I don't know why. It is like a half-assed second story, yet I really want one. I guess that's all on the loft situation.

So these are just a few things I want in my future house de awesome. What do you think?

Sunday, July 25

What Passes for Nature in the Oven I Call Arizona

Yesterday, I had a day off from work! What better way to celebrate than to gather some friends and brave the treacherous waters of the Salt River? Seriously. What better way?

The Salt River is awesome while at the same time being mind numbingly disgusting. Post river, one might think you had mistakenly marinated yourself in some sort of homemade feces/trash concoction for four hours while baking in the sun as waves of weed, tobacco and assorted by-products of piss drunk college students (literal piss too) washed over you. However, once you assure them that in fact- you just went tubing down the river, your stench is forgiven.

Don’t get me wrong- the river is actually quite fun once you get over the smell. I went with two of my girlfriends and we discovered just a few of the inherent dangers of women traveling alone!

The first indication that we had missed some sort of river related memo was this:

Apparently if you dress up in some sort of Halloween costume you get a free bus ride and a free tube. Ignoring the fact that July in Arizona gets to be about 108 in the middle of the day, a couple of people committed to getting that $15 waiver bravely donned cowboy boots, clown costumes and fireman hats. It was admirable really. That is devotion to frugality right there.

After the rather long bus ride, we managed to get to our launching point (I feel so nautical right now). Here, we discovered the first difficulty of a boy free river trip: a glaring lack of strength. If you have never tried to walk over mossy rocks while holding up an inner tube, wrapped in a sheet that is becoming increasingly heavy as it absorbs the rushing water trying to knock you on your ass while clinging together with other members of your sailing group… give it a try. It is not easy. The first casualty of war was Megan’s right flip flop. Sadly, we never saw Floppy again. We had to leave him behind as we desperately scrambled through the water.

Once we got started, it was nice. Relaxing…nature-y. We floated down at a gentle pace, holding together with our feet on each other’s raft. Then we hit our second roadblock: rapids due to water loss. When I say ‘rapids’ it isn’t like we were rafting down the Colorado, it was just kind of bumpy and the water was white and frothy. However, the white was in fact due to the rocks that liked to stab you in the ass as you floated by. As we passed by this section of the river, repeated calls of “Butts up!” seemed to follow us down the water. Until our second casualty:

Poor Lacey was river-raped. Trapped like a turtle on its back, Lace couldn’t free herself from the rock.

Luckily, a group of ten or so were kind enough to ram her gently from the rock and she was able to rejoin us. Traumatized, but still alive.

About an hour after this, we had settled back into the calm. We began to let ourselves believe everything was going to be okay. We were three women, and dammit- we were traversing the Salt River like champions!

Then came Kyle.

He drunkenly floated over to our group and unfortunately for Megan, decided he wanted to take her back to his cave for frolic and fun time. After confirming that she hadn’t in fact been ‘married off yet,’ he proceeded to try to give her a massage while trying to coax the startled creature that he meant no harm. Unfortunately for Kyle, Megan didn’t feel like being Mrs. Caveman, so we basically just floated away to his calls of “You don’t even want to kiss me on the cheek?” Crisis averted, we continued on.

One of the last evidences that sometimes it is nice to have a boy along was our sad lack of a tug boat. On previous trips, when the water runs low…as it is prone to do in Arizona, the girls usually stay in the tube while the boys get out and tug us through the section. It is basically the equivalent of the ‘get out and push’ method when your car breaks down. Sadly, our testosterone free river trip meant that was our job. Once again, a soldier was left behind! After walking through mossy rocks for a bit, we each got launched at different points in the river. I managed to catch up after awhile- just in time to see the cliff diving portion of the show! As we rounded a bend in the river, a small ledge where people like to leap and tease death like risk whores jump into the shallow river. Apparently this portion of the evening is clothing optional, so we got to watch two topless girls dance awkwardly on this ledge for about 5 minutes before apparently growing the stones required to make the jump.

Finally, a giant wooden sign alerted us that our exit was coming up on the left. We paddled over to the sand and each of us employed different strategies to get out. Megan and I decided to be a bit more… abrupt and aimed our tubes at the nearest dude. Trust me, trying to get out of a tube while battling the current, glass and rocks tearing at your feet was more than we could bear. Luckily our randomly selected knights in shining armor performed magnificently and grabbed the both of us, assisting us to a relatively painless river exit. Lacey, being the more tactful, didn’t want to take out a boy with her tube and got stuck a little further down river. We eventually got our trio back together, and celebrated our survival of the river. Our only worry is the fact that we may have contracted Gonaherpisyphilitus as a result of being steeped in sewage for longer than doctor recommended. We shall see!

So next time you are in Arizona and want to have a good time- check out the Salt River. Just bring a boy, and some penicillin! You will be fine!

Saturday, July 24

This summer has been incredible. I have been able to enjoy the leisure of vacationing back East,

as well as working to make some extra money. One of my favorite summer activities is reading. In the past month or so, I have read several books and honestly have loved nearly all of them. I figured this was a pretty good forum to put out my faves of the summer!

In no particular order:

1. Finn by Jon Clinch
This book delves into the character of Finn, Huckleberry Finn's father. As a long time fan of both the original Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn novels, this change of perspective is great. While Clinch takes some liberties with the Huck aspect of the story line (he implies that Huck is a mixed race child), his story weaves through Mark Twain's original creations seamlessly.

2. The Looking Glass Wars by Frank Beddor
While this series started out strong- I am now on the second book and honestly don't plan on reading the third. The first in the series is great. It tells the 'true' story of Alyss in Wonderland. The Looking Glass Wars is really well told, and focuses on the characters and how they differ from the original Lewis Carrol interpretation. While the second loses focus, I still think the first one is worth a read!

3. Charlie St. Cloud by Ben Sherwood
I like to read the book before I see the movie. Ben Sherwood's book follows Charlie St. Cloud following his brother's death. I cried at least three times while reading this. Something about it is so haunting and beautiful. While I liked how the book ended, it reminded me somewhat of The Lovely Bones; the beginning is tragic, it ends on a note of hope. In Charlie St. Cloud, the book takes a really odd sort of turn at the end. I still plan on seeing the movie, but I am curious as to how it will all play out!
I'll leave the list at three for now and might add to it later!